i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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