girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
