I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
