I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
