i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
