But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
