Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
