just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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