Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
