One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm jealous of your bromance
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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