I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize