she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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