People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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