Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
