so that wasnt chicken after all
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
