I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
