ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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