I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
