id be glad to
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
