I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
