I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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