He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
