C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
