i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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