he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
im holly from the hills drunk
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
