break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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