I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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