We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize