addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize