I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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