Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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