I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
