Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
