i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I deserve this hangover.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
