Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
