I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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