Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
