elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
