Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
