i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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