he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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