um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
