He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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