I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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