I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
