So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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