So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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