Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
