How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
