remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
