So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
