My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
