At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
