just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize