Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
