Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Randomize
