just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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