No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
