"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
