I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize